SGS5

I have purchased a new T-Mobile SGS5. So far, I’m impressed with the T-Mobile network – 4G-LTE delivers. Not like that Sprint network which is super slow. I use Ting, so I can have both my phones (Sprint SGS4 and T-Mobile SGS5) on one account. It also affords the ability to test both networks at the same time.

Sprint.

Sprint.

T-Mobile.

T-Mobile.


SGS4

I finally took the plunge and updated my SGS4 to Lollipop (Android 5) official OTA. I skipped right past Kit Kat (Android 4.4) which I thought was the latest official for the SGS4. It’s pretty, but there are features missing that I like. Namely: lock screen shortcuts and lock screen widgets.

Screenshot_2015-10-25-16-25-45

Every guide I’ve found which tells one how to access the Ruin Depths in the Calm Lands is wrong! They all show some elaborate method for unlocking it which includes sending L5 birds 1, 2, and 3, then 2, 3, and 4, then 1, 3, and 4, then 1, 2, and 4, after sending 4 of each previous level out. And they always insist that you must send them ALL to the Calm Lands.

Here’s why it’s bullshit:
1. You can send them anywhere you’d like.
2. You need only send four of each level (maybe fewer, I haven’t tried fewer) – once the four L5s return, exit and reenter the ranch. Boom – the Depths are now open.
*. You also only need to fight 7 battles between batches.

You wake up every day. You don’t bother getting dressed because you aren’t going anywhere so who cares what you look like. You go to work when it’s time then you go back home. You play games and watch cartoons all day long because that’s what you know. You’re so afraid of the unknown that you won’t go out, you won’t call people, you won’t go buy groceries, you won’t go some place you’re not expected, and you especially won’t ask that cute girl you know out.

Every day you ask yourself, “what is wrong with me?” And the answer is always, “I don’t know.”

You tell yourself, “tomorrow I’m going to tell her I like her.” When tomorrow comes, all you can think about is that you’ll just freak her out or she’ll think you’re a creep. You know she won’t, so what are you really afraid of? Are you afraid she’ll do what the last girl did – step over your query like one steps over a piece of trash on the street, avoid you, and never speak to you again or are you afraid she’ll say she likes you too and you’ll have to go on dates and be social… in public… where you can feel everybody’s eyes staring at you, judging you? Yes, to both, but what scares you the most is that you you’ll give her everything you’re physically and mentally capable of and it might not be enough.

You have social anxiety – the brick wall that surrounds your comfort zone. On top of that, you have two separate yet linked debilitating medical conditions that leave you drained. These things make you depressed, so while you’re home playing games and watching cartoons, you wallow in your own self-pity and lament on Facebook about the things that could have been.

Well, the old SGS2 decided to hard-brick itself. I looked up at it to check the time (I had Desk Clock in the foreground) which said it was ~12:15. I looked at it again a while later and it still said ~12:15 (the time was ~14:30), so I investigated – it was frozen, so I tried rebooting. When I rebooted, it looped the “loop” portion of the boot animation indefinitely, so I attempted it again by holding the power button – after which it remained on the boot pic (separate from the boot animation – the manufacturer/carrier logo). Then I tried a third time by pulling out the battery and now all I get is the notification light. I can’t get even to Recovery or Odin to investigate any fixes, resets, or restores.

I’m still trying to articulate this hurt inside.

Say you’re a lion tamer. You have one lion named Rusty. You’ve had him for ten years. You’re confident that Rusty won’t hurt you too badly. So you get in the cage with him and he takes a swipe at you – he got you pretty bad, too – and escapes never to be heard from again. Now you’re trust in Rusty has been broken. Not only can you never trust him again, but you also have a hard time trusting any other lions.

On November 13th, 2014, I asked a girl who I thought was a friend out on a date and got completely ignored as if I were nothing to her. The feelings I had for her have since turned. There isn’t an adjective adequate enough to describe the anger and raw hatred I now have in my heart for her. But the worst part is that now I’m questioning every friendship I have. Am I just Mark’s former student or am I actually a friend to these people? Of course I know I am a friend and not some random stranger who followed Mark, but the feeling is still there – nagging me – sucking the life from my already damaged heart.

I summoned all the self-confidence I could muster and asked you out thinking the worst I would get was “no”, but what I got was far worse than anything I could imagine. You blew me off like I was some creepy stalker on Facebook cruising for chicks then avoided me like I was some diseased rat. I didn’t even get any condolences for the loss of my sweet Dingus. I thought we were friends – how wrong I was. You don’t have to date me – you don’t even have to like me, but you could at least respect me. I felt worse than rejected – I felt betrayed – I felt like we were doing the trust-fall exercise and you just walked away at the critical moment and let me fall. You destroyed every bit of self-confidence and self-esteem I once had. All I feel now is pain, self-doubt, anger, and hatred. Normally, I can let things go, but I can’t seem to shake these hateful feelings I have toward you. There is no forgive. There is no forget. There is only hate. I hope there is a Hell so you can burn in it.

Simpsons Loser Takes All
Operation
Scattegories
Cloak And Dagger
Greekopoly
Battle Masters (Risk?)
Dirty Minds
Family Guy Trivia or Dare
Moods
Match 4
Mini Mind Mover 3
Easy Money
Battle of the Sexes
Topple
Star Wars Monopoly
Big Bang Theory Clue
Skip-Bo
Apples To Apples Junior
Simpsons Uno
Uno*
Five Crowns
Dominos
Risk
Rummikub Tiles
Rummikub Dice
Quiddler*
Phase 10 Twist
Standard Playing Cards*
Phase 10 Dice*
Mad Gab*
Crazy 8s*
Memory Match
Mille Borne Double Deck*
Phase 10*
Cards Against Humanity*
Farkle (aka 10,000)*

* In the box.

I’ve been sick since I was 17. I’m 37 now. It’s progressed from tolerable to now I can’t work because exertion and stress make me nauseous, dizzy, and light headed and may even make my liver bleed.

I haven’t the energy to do anything.
I can’t maintain a relationship.
I can’t even express my feelings.
I am alone.
I am depressed.
I feel empty inside.
I want to be happy.
I want to be in love.
I want to live.

I feel like I’m trapped in a twisted nightmare of pain and sorrow from which there is no escape.

Life passes me by while I struggle to keep up, but I’m falling behind.

I’m tired and afraid.
I’m fighting and losing.