Archives

All posts for the month May, 2015

I’m still trying to articulate this hurt inside.

Say you’re a lion tamer. You have one lion named Rusty. You’ve had him for ten years. You’re confident that Rusty won’t hurt you too badly. So you get in the cage with him and he takes a swipe at you – he got you pretty bad, too – and escapes never to be heard from again. Now you’re trust in Rusty has been broken. Not only can you never trust him again, but you also have a hard time trusting any other lions.

On November 13th, 2014, I asked a girl who I thought was a friend out on a date and got completely ignored as if I were nothing to her. The feelings I had for her have since turned. There isn’t an adjective adequate enough to describe the anger and raw hatred I now have in my heart for her. But the worst part is that now I’m questioning every friendship I have. Am I just Mark’s former student or am I actually a friend to these people? Of course I know I am a friend and not some random stranger who followed Mark, but the feeling is still there – nagging me – sucking the life from my already damaged heart.

I summoned all the self-confidence I could muster and asked you out thinking the worst I would get was “no”, but what I got was far worse than anything I could imagine. You blew me off like I was some creepy stalker on Facebook cruising for chicks then avoided me like I was some diseased rat. I didn’t even get any condolences for the loss of my sweet Dingus. I thought we were friends – how wrong I was. You don’t have to date me – you don’t even have to like me, but you could at least respect me. I felt worse than rejected – I felt betrayed – I felt like we were doing the trust-fall exercise and you just walked away at the critical moment and let me fall. You destroyed every bit of self-confidence and self-esteem I once had. All I feel now is pain, self-doubt, anger, and hatred. Normally, I can let things go, but I can’t seem to shake these hateful feelings I have toward you. There is no forgive. There is no forget. There is only hate. I hope there is a Hell so you can burn in it.

My Board Games

Simpsons Loser Takes All
Operation
Scattegories
Cloak And Dagger
Greekopoly
Battle Masters (Risk?)
Dirty Minds
Family Guy Trivia or Dare
Moods
Match 4
Mini Mind Mover 3
Easy Money
Battle of the Sexes
Topple
Star Wars Monopoly
Big Bang Theory Clue
Skip-Bo
Apples To Apples Junior
Simpsons Uno
Uno*
Five Crowns
Dominos
Risk
Rummikub Tiles
Rummikub Dice
Quiddler*
Phase 10 Twist
Standard Playing Cards*
Phase 10 Dice*
Mad Gab*
Crazy 8s*
Memory Match
Mille Borne Double Deck*
Phase 10*
Cards Against Humanity*
Farkle (aka 10,000)*

* In the box.